The Funky Truth Shall Set You Free

Man enough to handle the funky truth?

Or am I just dreaming?

A man fall in love with me, regardless of my HIV status, because I'm such a great, complete, wonderful, loving, intelligent, amazing man, regardless of my HIV status?

I believe it's a love story waiting to happen. Or am I just dreaming?

Aids for Fear of AIDS

Does a disease-free lab result mean a disease-free mind?

Did you know an HIV-negative person can be intimate with an HIV-positive person and stay HIV-negative?

I don't let HIV/AIDS get in the way of me loving myself; why should you be any different?

See life from my point of view in the funky posts labeled Semper Poz.

And for more, check out my author blog and the posts labeled HIV-P.O.V..

Still Jock Crazy After All These Years

My ideal man is a man who doesn't feel gay or straight. A man who gets turned on by the idea of us having a three-way with a woman. A man who loves the smell of his jock. And mine!

It wasn't difficult getting hooked on the scent of a man and his jock. For most of my early life, the only kind of men I knew wore sweaty jocks.

Is it any wonder, after all these years, I'm still Jock Crazy?

Vision Guy

I have visions. What kind? Click here to find out.

Me and Only Me

Why would I rather be me than anyone else? Find out in Rather Be Me.

Any Buddy Out There?

Wanted: One man that gives me that special feeling.

The Tongue Tutorials

I love my HIV-positive tongue! My tongue gives me so much pleasure, so much joy, so much to taste and savor in this vast and flavorful world of ours. My tongue is one of my most favorite appendages. Someday, I hope to have a buddy who says it's one of his most favorite appendages, too.

Still more tongue:
Tongues In Cheeks
World's Greatest Tongue
That's My Tongue!
Thankful for My Tongue, Too!

Why Am I Still Single?

Fifty-year-old gay man who's never been in a relationship. That's what I'll be in six months, unless I'm no longer living, or living a dream come true, a dream I've dreamt since age fourteen, a dream I have slim hope of ever coming true.

Love. A relationship. A partner. A buddy.

Call it what you want, I've never had it. Not even close.

Why am I single? It's a question I've been asking myself for years, including the time I wrote a blog post with a few speculative answers, a blog post called, Why Am I Single?

Words to Survive By

Every crisis, every problem, every bad day, every seemingly insurmountable challenge, every single thing you've even been through, you've always found a way to keep going.

Those words helped me survive HIV/AIDS in the late 1980s. Those words help me survive today.

See what other words and thoughts resonate in my mind in Funky Words.

That Was Me ... Then

Once upon a time, I was young, gifted and black.

See how I looked in my younger days, plus see what I would say if I could travel back in time and tell myself 15 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Young, Gifted and Black, now on my author blog.

Also on my author blog: go back to school with me in High School Highlights: 30 Years Later and College Daze: 25 Years Later.

Speaking Natchurally

Some say "natch" stands for natural.

Some say it stands for something entirely different. How different? As different as each human's DNA.

Can you smell it? Can you cook it? Can you alter it?

Can you buy Natch? Can you sell it? Can you wear it? Wrestle with it?

What be this thing called Natch? Take the journey and see if you can find the answers. Natch.

That's So Me

This is me, imagining myself clicking with another man on many levels. Sexually. Intellectually. Physically. Mentally. Man to man. Beast to beast. Boy to boy.

This is me, imagining we develop a best friendship that happens naturally.

This is me, imagining my buddy and me going outside to play basketball.

This is me, creating a link to my funky post titled Imagining a Buddy Who Feels Like Me.

The Funkiest of Funky Pics

It's almost time. Are you ready for the funkiest pics of the year?

They're a-coming.

Until then, check out the funkiest pics from 2008.

Want more? Check out the best of 2009.

Those were two funky years!

I am not a Dick!

How much time in my life will I have to spend answering questions about my dick size?

Specifically: How big is your big black dick?

Young guys, old guys, white guys, Latino guys, black guys, most guys want to know if I'll be the big black dick they've been dreaming of since they first heard Negroes have penises.

If only I could take all that time, bottle it up and spend it loving and being loved by one man who couldn't care less about my dick size.

Buddy are you out there?

Good Ole Funky Fun!

Click here to see more funky pics

Funky and Functional

Why all the funky pics? Click here to find out.

Four Funky Qu's

Why am I single? Find out in Why Am I Single?

Will I ever meet the love of my life? I keep telling myself, There Must Be Some Buddy.

Do the men I date need to have a certain blood type? Find out Why HIV Status Doesn't Matter.

What will I do if I never find somebody to love? I'm gonna keep on Learning to Love Me.

I Brake for Jocks

I am not gay, nor have I ever been gay. I repeat, gay does not = me.

I'm capable of having sex with a man or a woman, but I can only imagine being in love, soul to soul, with a man.

Why? Who's to truly say, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being Jock Crazy!

Feeling Special

How does one man make another man feel special? By asking about his dick size? By fucking his brains out? By worshiping him like some kind of god?

Most heterosexual men learn early on that a man must make a woman feel special if he wants anything from her other than blue balls and lonely nights.

The men might fail, but they understand they gotta keep at it until they get it right because, generally speaking, no woman worth more than a mindless sexual encounter is gonna give it up unless she feels special.

But what about two men? Does a man need to feel special to have sex? Generally speaking, no.

"I deserve more than disposable meat. I deserve food for my soul."

Maybe that's why it's easy for gay men to treat one another like disposable products. As if love and sex should be approached like buying meat at the store. You see what's available, inspect the quality, see if it's up to your pre-determined standards, then you decide whether or not to make the transaction, knowing the meat is gonna be in and out of your life like all the other meat you've consumed over the years.

The meat you buy today is no more or less special than the meat you bought the last time you went shopping; it's just something to keep you going. After all, we've all got biological needs, right? And a tasty piece of meat can be a great thing, right?

Or maybe gay men seem expendable to one another because many gay men were never made to feel special by their families, their peers in school or the world at large. Hard to make someone else feel special when you yourself haven't experienced being valued for who you are.

My ultimate dream is to experience something beyond disposable meat. Men have felt me, but few have taken the time to feel me, to find out what makes me feel special or shared with me what makes them feel special.

What makes me feel special? Someone asking me about my dreams and goals in life, then taking a vested interest in those dreams and goals. Someone who listens. Someone who opens up and shares his own hopes and dreams. Someone who values me when he's horny and when he's not. Someone who responds with kindness when I'm hurting, no matter the source of the hurt. Someone who wants to get to know me in and out of bed. Someone open to creating new ways to make us both feel special.

I may be dreaming, but I wanna feel special. And I deserve more than disposable meat. I deserve food for my soul. To be sure, I deserve great sex. But I also deserve a man who can be a male sexual dawg without cutting off the circulation to his brain and his heart.

I deserve that kind of buddy and that kind of relationship. My buddy and--we both deserve that special feeling a man gets when his buddy does something that makes him feel like one very special man among men.

You out there, buddy?

• Originally published on this blog as That Special Feeling on 7/27/2008
• Reprinted in Instigator Magazine, Issue 18