What's a nice guy like me doing on a blog like this? Why am I peddling my wares, and my ass, on my own space on the net in hopes of finding a man who stays in my life longer than seven minutes?If there are plenty of fish in the sea, why can't I land a good catch? Better still, why hasn't a good catch hunted me down, reeled me in and gobbled me up?
Let's take a deeper look at the fishes and the sea ...
-Most creatures aren't hunting for men in black.
Personal experience dictates: 85% of all gay men,
regardless of race, don't date black men, which means 85% of all gay men, regardless of race, have pre-judged every black man alive, sight-unseen, as not worthy of love or sex, which means 85% of all gay men have already pre-determined my worth before knowing I even exist.To 85% of all available males, I'm neither a good catch nor a bad catch. I'm black, which in their minds means I don't even warrant consideration. I'm an invisible man living an invisible life. Most of the men around me refuse to even look my way.
Quite visible, however, is the blatant prejudice of 85% of all gay men, regardless of race. Thanks to the digital world, that hatred is preserved in countless online profiles that reveal a truth many black men have known for decades: most gay men, regardless of race, are racists against blacks.
Log on and behold the evidence: the infinite variations of phrases such as WHITES AND LATINS ONLY, NO BLACKS, NO ASIANS--it's all there for anyone to witness, quantify and study. The river of hatred runs deep. De facto segregation is alive and well in the hearts and minds of many a gay man.
-Most creatures avoid men who are HIV-Positive.
There was a time when the gay community reacted to HIV/AIDS with compassion and a sense of
togetherness. That time has passed. Gayworld 2008 is a place that treats men who are HIV-positive like AIDS Monsters lurking in dark alleys, ready to snatch up innocents who wander too close.Never mind “safer sex with everyone” keeps one healthier than “unsafe sex with anyone.” Never mind bypassing judgment. Never mind a healthy attitude about sexual health. Never mind education over ignorance. Never mind compassion.
For the vast majority of available men, “safe sex” has evolved into a narrow-minded creed: steer clear of anyone who isn't “clean and disease-free.” Never mind the fallacy of such foolish notions. Never mind the great black guy who's "disease-ridden."
-Most creatures won't interact with non-Mandingos.
Of the gay men who are open to dating black men, 90% (or more) of those men are self-described “bottoms” looking to be “topped” by a big black Mandingo dick (attached human
being optional).The question most asked in my lifetime? How Big Is My Dick?.
As if the sole worth of a black man is his dick and its ability to morph into a dominant, mindless pummeling tool. Cultural implications of this near-sighted fantasy aside, that's not me. Simple as that.
None of the above factors make me single, they just make finding love all the more challenging. In the sea of life, very few creatures even consider dating and loving someone who's black, HIV-positive and not a Big Black Mandingo machine.
The pool of available men is miniature. The odds of finding a good catch are downright infinitesimal. And that's before getting to the compatibly round, where two people discover what, if anything, they have in common.
Why am I single? There's not one overwhelming reason, just stacked odds.
What's a guy like me is doing on a blog like this? Trying to be a better fisherman in the sea of life.
