Hurts So Bad

Dear Gay Men of America: Don't reduce me to a race.

Most anywhere I turn in the gay world, I see signs that tell me: Least Wanted: Black Gay Men.

I see them online in the countless personal ads that say, WHITES AND LATINS ONLY. I hear it in the voices of men who tell me, sorry, I don't do blacks.

Is it racism or just a preference? Whatever you call it, it brings me down and hurts my feelings.

Beauty AIDS

Reminder to the world:

People with AIDS can be beautiful, too.

People with AIDS can live beautiful lives.

People with AIDS can be beautiful on the inside and out.

People with AIDS can be beautiful in your eyes.

People with AIDS can be beautiful in your heart.

People with AIDS can be beautiful, too.

Neg (and Ignorant) as of a Certain Date

Saying you're "neg as of a certain date" means nothing.

Nearly everyone who has ever tested HIV-positive did so because they thought they were having sex with someone who was "neg as of a certain date."

So what's your word worth? Nothing. So why use the words?

A truly educated man doesn't have to tell people he's "neg as of a certain date."

A truly educated man knows the only true way to be safe is to have safe sex with everyone, regardless of what they think or claim about their HIV status.

A truly educated man does not rely on others to safeguard his health and safety.

Would you believe a stranger who says, "I'm not on any drugs, now let me drive you down the highway?"

Would you tell a stranger, ""I'm not on any drugs, now let me drive you down the highway?"

Why should that stranger believe you?

Why would you believe that stranger?

What is your word worth? Nothing.

What are your actions worth? Everything.

Why Blog?

Why do I blog on this funky little blog?

To be America's Next Top HIV-Positive Model.

To be a man who's changing the face of AIDS.

To teach the young and the poz that they can be sexy, confident, comfortable, poz.

To vent my anger about the gay world, where there's so many men, so little sensitivity.

That's why I blog on this funky little blog.

The Kind of Man I Need

I need a man who doesn't need me to be a Big Black Mandingo.

I need a man who needs me to be exactly what I am.

Intelligent. Witty. Brainy. Geeky. Dorky. Sexy. Sexual.

A big boy in a big man's body. A big boy who wants to follow his buddy.

My buddy leads, I follow.

He's the alpha. I'm the cheerleader.

I need a man who doesn't need me to be a Big Black Mandingo.

I need a man who needs me to be exactly what I am.

Goofy. Funny. Smart. Highly knowledge in many Jeopardy categories!

A man who's masculine, feminine, all the above, whatever my buddy needs.

My buddy's needs are my deeds.

I need a man who needs me to be exactly what I am.

Target Marketing

Picture it: Somewhere on planet earth, a man sits in front of his computer, and just for shit and giggle, types words into a search engine that describe the kind of buddy he's looking for:

athletic, black, poz, study, muscular, mature, intelligent, brainy, smart, sexy, jock

Up pops me and my funky little blog.

And up rises our man's interest in what his search engine has come up with: athletic, black, poz, studly, smart, sexy me.

Now that's what I call target marketing!

This is me at my keyboard, typing into my funky blog things phrases like:

Black Muscle Seeks Blond Muscle.

Black poz muscle seeks muscle buddy.

Poz muscle seeks poz muscle in Los Angeles area.

Black muscle boy seeks Alpha muscle for LTR.

Black muscle man seeks while muscle man.

Black muscle man seeks muscle buddy, any race, as long as you're single, available and ready to love the buddy of your dreams!

Target marketing = whatever it takes to put my buddy in my arms and me in my buddy's arms.

Fuck the Spark-plug People

Fun loving, red blooded, all-American male.

That's how a spark-plug commercial described the middle-aged white guy with model looks and a touch of gray who was about to change his spark-plugs.

Fun-loving: that could be most anyone. True?

Red-blooded: technically, that's all of us, but the spark-plug people mean: horny male.

All-American: the spark-plug people mean white. American people hear white. Why does all-American mean white? Are the rest of us half-American?

Fun-loving, red blooded, half-American male.

Fuck the spark-plug people.

Detain Me, Please

I love the show Cops. Makes me wish a cop loved me.

Certifiably Worthy

To all the gay guys on the net who say the following, Neg as of (a certain date):

On most online dating sites, there's a check box to acknowledge your status.

Adding "neg as of a certain date" is like saying your allegedly testing negative on a certain date makes you certifiably worthy, healthy, better, anything that makes a person who tested otherwise on an earlier date less worthy, less healthy, less ....

No matter your intention, your words hurt my feelings.

My Favorite Things

Some of my favorite things to do:

Trikke, the joyride of the 21st century.

Chase my dog, a golden mutt named Boomer.

Eating buns.

Shooting hoops.

Playing outdoors at the beach.

Watching the TV show Cops.

Dreaming of meeting that one special buddy.

Blowing Smoke

What makes an innocent little baby turn into a sweet playful kid ... who turns into a shy and quiet preteen ... who turns into a wayward youth ... who turns into one of the criminals on the long running TV show Cops?

Cigarettes, the real gateway drug to a life of crime and unproductive behavior: lying, cheating, stealing, the kind of shit lands you in handcuffs.

Take a whiff, if you dare, of Cigarettes: the Real Gateway Drug, now on my author blog.

Older, Wiser, Stronger

The more I age, the more I learn some of the most important shit in life, such as how to react to people who call me names or hate on me.

It's like a told a dude the other day (he was upset someone called him fat):

You gotta learn to let that shit roll off you, not to give it too much power.

Think of people who don't love you for you as opponents in a video game, roadblocks. Jump over them and keep going. They are not the game. YOUR LIFE is the game. Any time spent hating on your opponents is time that could be spent winning the game.

The Funkiest of Funky Pics

It's almost time. Are you ready for the funkiest pics of the year?

They're a-coming.

Until then, check out the funkiest pics from 2008.

Want more? Check out the best of 2009.

Those were two funky years!

Is My Buddy Out There?

I've been telling myself "there's somebody out there for me" for what seems like a lifetime.

A lifetime of turning the corner, opening a door, entering a room, wondering: is this where we meet?

To date, I ain't met him, but I have hope. Life has a way of shocking the shit out of me, for better or worse.

I just hope the next time life shocks me, it's the biggest and best jolt of my life.

Buddy, are you out there?

My So-Called Poz Life

See life from my point of view in the funky posts labeled Semper Poz.

I am not a Dick!

How much time in my life will I have to spend answering questions about my dick size?

Specifically: How big is your big black dick?

Young guys, old guys, white guys, Latino guys, black guys, most guys want to know if I'll be the big black dick they've been dreaming of since they first heard Negroes have penises.

If only I could take all that time, bottle it up and spend it loving and being loved by one man who couldn't care less about my dick size.

Buddy are you out there?

Weapons of Mass Delusion

HIV-negative as of November 6, 2010. Super clean. UB2.

Men love to promote their HIV-negative status on online dating sites, as if it's a badge of honor.

To me, it's a badge of ignorance. Anyone can promote themselves as "disease-free" as of a certain date.

It's like saying, I've got a gun and it's not loaded. Believe me? Can I put it to your head and pull the trigger?

Smart men don't based their decisions on other people's claims about their potentially loaded weapons. Smart men know to avoid the Delirious Dance of the Disease-Free.

Best Part About Being a Man

The best part about being a man: being a man in a man's world.

The second best part: being able to take a whiff of your ripe, manly pits.

The third best part: being able to smell a buddy's ripe, manly pits.

Any buddy wanna whiff?