It's About the Jocks

I'm not gay. Really, I mean it. I'm No Longer a Homo.

I used to use the word “gay” to communicate my primary sexual desires, but lately--say, for the past decade or more--I've been feeling less and less gay about being gay.

That's because gay, which use to mean happy, then came to mean homo, is now something altogether different, which doesn’t make this gay man very gay at all.

Find out how not gay I am in I'm Not Gay, Just Jock Crazy!

My Dreams = Me

"His dreams had kept him alive--all his dreams: the dreams that came true, the dreams that didn’t, the dreams that were still out there, waiting to be conceived.

They had all kept him alive. His deepest dreams had created his soul and kept that soul alive."

—from Walt Loves the Bearcat, my fourth novel. A story of love, football and some very potent daydreams. Also a Lambda Literary Award Finalist for Best Romance.

Me @ 48

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America's Next Top HIV-Positive Model

I could have sex everyday with countless men if only I told them, "I'm clean."

But I'm an honest man. I want the whole package, a sharp, educated man who knows I'm not a threat to his health and safely. I want this whether a man is in my life for seven minutes or seven years.

For the most part, I rarely get the chance to meet sharp, educated men because AIDS education has been lost in America. To most men, I'm an AIDS Monster. Not clean. Not disease-free. Not cool.

I'm out to change all that, even if only in my own world, on my own blog, in my own mind.

I am ... America's Next Top HIV-Positive Model.

Sexy and AIDS in the Same Sentence?

The deadly disease. That's how the media first described HIV/AIDS back in the 1980s. The descriptions haven't gotten much better since. AIDS is often used alongside words like tragic, fatal, death.

And so I began to wonder what it would be like, seeing those four little letters linked to better words and better dreams, dreams involving feeling sexy and alive while living with the virus.

I think I'm going to like this new way of looking at a-i-d-s.

Defensive Man Walking

If you're neg, you must be educated enough to know that you can have safe sex with a hot poz stud like me. Otherwise, you're a dumbass and I don't want nuttin' to do with ya. lol.

That's what I said in an email to a guy I was interested in. He wrote back and said: I'm educated. Why be so negative. Now I'm turned off.

To which I wrote: My apologies. No excuse but attribute it to my sensitivity to so many negative messages about "disease-free" dudes on the net. It hurts, it really really hurts, and yes, I get defensive. Sorry.

I never heard back, but it didn't matter. He may or may not have been educated, but he certainly wasn't sensitive.

I challenge anyone to live with HIV/AIDS for 25 years and not show their humanity when dealing with the "disease-free" world. If I weren't sensitive about the world's reaction to people with the virus, I'd be out of my bleeping mind.

Walk in my shoes in the funky posts labeled Semper Poz.

Changing the Face of AIDS

I refuse to accept the world's dreary perception of HIV/AIDS. In fact, I'm out to change the world's dreams about people living with the virus.

We're not all sick and dying. It's not all doom and gloom. People with HIV are huggable, lovable, sexable and worthy of dreams come true. Good dreams. Not nightmares.

I'm on a mission to put new and better dreams about HIV/AIDS on the planet. Any buddy wanna join me?